STATS - Marooned

Lately I've been waiting for that awesome big something to come along, smack the last of the awful sickness I've had out of my face (I was down for the count with who-knows-what for a week) and, by extension, give me something actually sick to write about. Thursday comes along and in my emailbox appears a note from the STATS dudes offering up their latest e.p., Marooned.

Not so many weekends ago, while hanging out with bassist Tony Gedrich (who also plays in Extra Life, worth checking out), Tony busted out the unmastered recordings. A bunch of us rocked out to them and probably drooled a little more than Tony was expecting, so I had baseline expectation of what I was gonna hear. Also, STATS has been playing this stuff for their past few live shows, but one can never quite be sure how it's all going to transition from the live set to the recorded tapes.

Well I can now unequivocally state that this three-song, 19 minute e.p. is bloody-nose inducing. They really cranked the low-end here for maximum womp. There's no way to say this without sounding like a total tool, but STATS is fucking groovy. Groovy math. You wanna get a bunch of epileptics with Tourettes to boogie? This is the perfect band for that. Give them earplugs, too, because it's necessary.

Big dumb smiling, mouth-breathing, gut-evisceratin' jazz tunes. These guys are friends of mine and perhaps the nicest guys around and always a hoot to play shows with; I've called them the most underrated band in Brooklyn and I stand by that. STATS creates the most thouroughly thought out goofball music that's not actually goofy or stupid, but just what awesome rock 'n' roll music should be. For thinkin' folks. Mischievously dark and, yet, positive. It's gonna give your kids their first cigarette, show 'em dirty magazines and help with homework just to keep on your good side. Because they look like good kids and yours shouldn't be hanging around with those dirty long hairs down the street with the illegal firecrackers.

Not murderers or rapists!

So now that I've said all this crap, how do you get your hands on Marooned? At the moment they have it available for free download, all you have to do is email them at [statsbrooklyn at gmail.com] and they'll send you the link. Then go donate some money to them for their efforts (paypal info will be in the email) because they put way too much effort into making these awesome songs extra awesome. To get a feel for what this is all about visit their myspace where they've posted the track "Yo King". I dare you to try and get it out of your head. I also dare you to figure out how they piece their songs together because, frankly, I find the prospect of an actual answer too daunting and frigtening to ask them.